What is Sex Therapy?
“Helping couples to rediscover the delight of an exploratory sexual journey, rather than just the delivery of sexual destinations, is a basic task in sex therapy”
Did you know that most couples have experienced sexual problems at one point or another? However, by the time they seek help, many complex relationship issues have accumulated on top of the original sexual problem. Oftentimes, partners end up turning on and blaming each other for their sex problems. This is a time when sex therapy can be helpful because the sex therapist holds the relationship as the client rather than only one partner.
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a type of therapy that is designed for couples who have concerns about sexual satisfaction or changes. It includes the exploration of feelings and beliefs around sex concerns as well as how these concerns impacted a couple’s relationship.
Many times, things like pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, exhaustion, stress, body image, and aging can impact a couples’ intimacy. And because these are universal experiences, almost everybody experiences sex concerns at some point their lives.
Unfortunately, many people wait a long time to seek help because sex concerns can be source of guilt, shame, and hopelessness. For this reason, sex therapy often involves psychoeducation to normalize the experience around sexual problems and concerns. The ultimate goal of sex therapy is to empower a couple over their sexual concerns, rather than to offer solutions.
Intimacy problems can affect a person’s self-image and identity which in turn affects their relationship. Often, sex problems are only problems because we think they are. Which is why working on a couple’s beliefs, attitudes, and expectations around sex is necessary. Other interventions like mindfulness, body scanning, sensate focus, and self-focus can also be helpful to ground and reconnect a couple.
Mindfulness can be especially helpful because it can help partners connect their thoughts and feelings to body sensations. It can also help couples become aware of intrusive thoughts that might be causing anxiety around sex concerns.
Types Concerns Addressed in Sex Therapy
There are so many types of sexual concerns and issues:
Delayed ejaculation
Erectile difficulties (ED)
Male hypoactive sexual desire disorder
Premature ejaculation
Female orgasmic disorder
Female sexual interest/arousal disorder
Genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder
Substance/medication-induced sexual dysfunction
Arousal and desire disorders
Desire discrepancies
Pain-related concerns
Sex concerns do not necessarily have biological origins. In fact, medications like Viagra will not work if the client does not feel a desire, feels anxious, or feels guilty. Which is why sex therapy, especially with a partner, can be helpful. Exploring each partner’s expectations, beliefs about what is happening, and previous experiences are addressed, sets a foundation to empower a couple.
Life-changing events like pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, exhaustion, or changes in body image can create low desire for women. While ED concerns are most often situational. However, once it happens once, it can create a cycle of anxiety that is difficult to get out of. Other variables like tiredness and substance abuse can also contribute to situational sex concerns. There is no one answer that explains all sex concerns and roots. Through sex therapy a couple can begin to gain insight and control over their experience.
Seeking help for sex-related concerns can be daunting. Sex therapy can help a couple gain control over their relationship by increasing their understanding of one another. Sex therapy is a place where couples can feel safe to discuss these kinds of issues and hopefully gain insight and deepen their connection.
Resources
Enhancing Intimacy for Sex Therapy in Austin, TX
AASECT Certified Provider Directory
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Sex with Emily Podcast
Why Women Have Sex by Cindy Meston
References
Brito, J. (2022, April 28). What to know about sex therapy. Medical News Today. Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sex-therapy#who-needs-it
Campbell, C. (2023). Sex Therapy: The Basics. Routledge.
Frank, E., Anderson, C., & Rubinstein, D. (1978). Frequency of sexual dysfunction in "normal" couples. The New England journal of medicine, 299(3), 111–115. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJM197807202990302
