The New Year is a great time to reflect on the past year and consider what you would like for the year ahead.

Some of my favorite questions to ponder on are…

What would I like more of? What could I do without?

What filled me up? What drained me?

Where do I want to invest my time?

What excites me about the future?

I recently watched a new video by one of my favorite YouTubers, Ali Abdaal, about New Year’s resolutions. He pointed out a system for setting New Year’s Resolutions that includes splitting up your life into 3 domains: relationships, work, and health.

This got me thinking about how I don’t include my relationship in my New Year’s resolutions. However, New Year’s resolutions can easily apply to our relationships because, just like we as individuals are growing and evolving all the time, so are our relationships.

So, here are a few of my thoughts on how we can apply the age old tradition of New Year’s resolutions to our relationships

Find comfort in the dialectics

The basic tenant of dialectics is that “two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time.” So, what would some relationship dialectics be?

This is a beautiful way to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions because it allows us to begin from a place of thankfulness for where we are while allowing us space to grow.

This way, we start the New Year from a place of satisfaction and fulfillment in where we are and excitement for where we are going.

Take the New Year as a season

Rest assured in experiencing the New Year slowly. Just like other holidays have “seasons” attached to them, New Year can have a season attached to it too.

Think about how you would like to start the year and take your time in setting resolutions. Be gentle with yourself, your relationship, and your partner in this time of newness, excitement, growth, and endless possibilities.

Allow yourself to take all the time you need to reflect and cherish this New Year season.

Allow yourself to rejoice in the excitement of new possibilities and a blank slate.

Breathe in this air of newness and satisfaction, allowing it to guide you as you set relational goals.

Write them down

Like Ali mentions in his video, there is a lot of research about how people who write down their goals are more likely to remember and accomplish them. So, I’d encourage you to create a document or write your goals down on a piece of paper.

Let your written goals serve as an inspiration and a guide for the meaningful and fulfilling relationship that you are nurturing.

Find your 3 relational goals

There are 3 things that you’ll want to think about when setting relational goals this New Year season.

What is one thing you’d like to do for your partner this year?
What is one thing your’d like to do for your relationship this year?
What is one thing you’d like to do for yourself this year in order to show up in your relationship as the best version of yourself?

Like I mentioned, take your time thinking about these and make sure you write them somewhere. And remember to start from a place of fulfillment, rather than from a place of emptiness.

As you think through what your answers to those questions might be, consider the “why” these resolutions would be meaningful in your life. How would they add to your life? How would they fill your cup? Make sure you write your “why” down as well, to inspire you as you grow this year.

If possible, try to schedule them into your calendar. So, for example, if my goal was to deepen my relationship with my partner, scheduling in a TV-free date night once per week could help me achieve that.

It could be helpful to carve out a specific time to set and write down your goals. Ideally, you could do it with your partner, so that you can share your goals and dreams with each other.

Conclusion

I hope this has inspired you to spend some extra time reflecting on your relationship this New Year season. Like I mentioned earlier, just like we are always growing and evolving, so are our relationships.

So, I encourage you to intentionally nurture your relationship this New Year season into the meaningful and fulfilling relationship that you want by setting relational goals.